After seeing the suffering LA has endured with CTU and Jack Bauer at the helm, Chico California (pop. 84,396) is taking pre-emptive measures against the likes of Nina Myers and those guys from Harold & Kumar.After watching too many hours of 24, and slowly losing the ability to distinguish between reality, and make-believe they decided to pass a law to protect them from nuclear attacks as were seen in season 6 of 24.
The law in Chico is that no nuclear device shall be detonated within the city limits, and should you do so you shall receive a penalty of $500.Really?!That’s it?Who is going to collect the fine?Because last I checked a Nuclear Explosion could wipe out the entire town!POOF!Gone.
Allow me to quote a few lines of the actual city code.
“The possibility of nuclear war is a clear and present danger that threatens not only the health, safety and welfare of the citizen of the Chico community, but also their very existence” (uhh, Duh.)
“That even participation in preparation against nuclear war is inappropriate in that it lends credence to the belief that such a war is survivable when in fact it is not.”(That’s Right Chico!Just crush all hope that there is and make it illegal to even prepare.)
Chico California, Thank you.You have shown us the light, and you have shown us that it is important to make sure that we do not allow nuclear weapons in our cities, and if we find them there we should fine the bat snot out of them with 500 dollars!I am going to write my city council member today and let them know that I too want this law in my city.This will be a great thing because I am near Washington DC, and by so doing we will be protecting the politicians and what not there.
This is now illegeal to do in Chico California. Sorry Guys.
“McCain and bush support a drilling plan that wont produce a drop of oil for 7 years.”
Now I am really not a supporter of either person, in fact I am still amazed that with 300 million people in the U..S(thats 00,000,000 just in case you were wonderin) this is the best two (thats 1, 2 or “II” or the number 2 with no zeros) we can come up with? But that odd and crazy fact is material for another blog and another day. But I digress.
Obama’s ad starts off with that line, and yet if you look at obama’s proposed plan he doesn’t plan on producing a drop say. . . ever! I say better late then never on that one. Sure I am all for the alternate fuels. I am not saying that moving away from them is a bad thing. I am not saying moving towards oil is a bad thing either. I say, believe what you choose to believe. However, if he is going to make that a point of argument, then one would stand to think that he is going to do it faster. That is simply not the case. He is all about the other stuff. Why doesn’t he say that he is more for it than McCain is. Oh wait he isn’t! But you gotta slam him for something. Will McCain do the same thing back? I suppose he will. Will there be more ads like this from both parties? I hope so, cause then I can blog about more and more. Just wait for the debates!!
So Obama, if he is going to produce it in seven years and that is a bad thing, are you going to do it faster?
Recently I got a comment on a previous post regarding the Rolling Razor, seems a Mr. Taverna had something to say about my trashing the Rolling Razor. First, let me point out that our friend Mr. Taverna is well, likely an employee of the company associated with the marketing or vending of the Rolling Razor. I do internet marketing for a living and make it my business to study the search habits of the average user. Let’s break it down like a fraction:
The Blog was just released in the last two days and its links have been made available in a limited number of places that only personal friends of mine and Terrell’s.
Second, the rolling razor is such a little known accessory that few if anyone will be searching on it. If they are searching it, they’re looking for information to validate a purchase.
So, if Mr. Taverna owns this marvel of science, he wouldn’t really be searching on the rolling razor and thus finding my blog. And if he is, well he’s still insecure about his purchase and needs to move on.
Finally, I suspect that the Rolling razor is not a US company, but they’re trying to get market penetration.
Before I further trash on the product, let me congratulate this group. From a marketing perspective they’ve hit it all. Sexy, sleek, crisp marketing. The guys who sold America on the “pet rock” would be proud. Watching the commercials as the one I’ve post here almost sells me. I kind of want to try one. But then again, for a while there I almost purchased the bowflex. I mean the guy on there looks buff.
In all, I still think the Rolling Razor is a piece of crap. I think it’s a waste of the minerals that were refined into the metals that make up the body of the tool. The very synthetics that make up the rubber that make this stubble remover as stable as Chuck Norris in a fist fight, scream to be released from such an inconsequential purpose in this life. So Mr. Taverna, if you do work for the Rolling Razor Rimshods, if you’ll score me a sample I’ll try it for a month. And if it works better than the razor I have now, I’ll post once a week on this blog and at least one other how much I love the Rolling Razor.
For now, I say to properly use this Rolling Razor, you should carefully place your finger through the hole and then proceed to poke yourself in the eye for buying it.
The initial inspiration for this blog was when I saw an add for the “Rolling Razor” on facebook. At first, i thought that this was a joke, and that someone was trying to make a quick buck off of some poor sucker. In truth, this is an actual product that comes in many shades/skins and accessories to boot.
The Product: I don’t know about you but I’ve been looking for a finger mounted shaver. Seriously, for those moment when I sleep on my arm all night long and my hand falls asleep with no feeling in my fingers. I really need something that I can slip it on my finger so that I can numbly scrape at the scruff on my face. Also, I hope I’m not the only one that lacks the ability to turn the razor handle in my hand to get the other side of my face while shaving. The razor comes with dual heads just in case. And in case you find yourself in wartime shaving, you want to be sure that your razor doesn’t give up your position. They provide camo skins for the razor for forest, desert, and night camo-required situations.
Use: Scanning the website, I found myself fortunate to come upon a FAQ section for the rolling razor. See shaving is a difficult task with this marvel of modern science that it requires an in depth explanation of how to use the product. Apparently, it’s a whole lot like normal shaving. However, it’s comforting to know both men and women can use the same blades, but they do have a his and hers section. Also, lucky for all of us, we aren’t limited as far as use. At the recommendation of the marketing director for the Rolling Razor, you can use it on your face, head, and body. I doubt any other razor can promise that.
Roundup: Honestly, the last thing the world needs is another razor blade and handle. Gilette and Schick have the market cornered, and though I’m anxiously awaiting the Platinum Mach 14, do we really need more razor blades? At some point we’re just getting stupid with the whole shaving market. This thing looks like it should come out of a cracker jack or cereal box. The best part is they’ve got a whole line of shaving accessories just for the rolling razor. Be comforted in knowing that you’ve got plenty of marketers at work, ready and willing to sell you crap, with specialized crap bags to put it in.
This will be my first post of what I hope to many more to come and due to the nature of this blog, and what its contents are going to be, I thought that it would only be fair to start with a story of myself doing something dumb. This way people would know that we are all prone to have it happen to us. No one is immune to doing stupid things.
in May of this year I did something that will forever go down in my life as one of the most stupid things that I have ever done. Let me paint a picture here. I am in my new bedroom, and my then fiancee was out of town. She had placed some items onto the bookcase before she left. Now I had not seen what items she had placed there till this moment. I was on my way out the door to travel to New Jersey so I was kind of in a hurry but there was time for some curiosity to come in. As I walk by the bookcase I notice this bullet looking item unlike anything that I had ever seen before. You can see it here in this lovely illustration. You will notice that there are no markings on this device. Just a button that does nothing when you push it. I pick up the device and asked myself, “what the heck is this thing?” From there is was all bad.
I push the little button over and over, and no resulting anything. I then looked down the little hole in front of it, and I could see some sort of nozzle. it was at that moment that my stupidity soared. Not only was I looking down the barrel of some mystery device, but I then proceeded to hit the trigger while doing so. Upon doing this I was met a blast of what at the time seemed like nothing. However, after about 30 seconds the word nothing was replaced by another word, along with a new sensation. The new word was, MACE and the new sensation was, PAIN, and let me tel you mace hurts! Also it does not come off your face once on there. So 45 minutes later, a 20 min shower in 10 degree water, feeling a lot less smart, and a tingling face accompanied by a pepper spray taste in my mouth I was able to function and go back to life again.
So there you have it. My stupid moment. I am sure that there will be many more to come, but that is enough about me, I am going to talk about other people and their dumb things.
Once on Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, they did a bit about how if we really wanted to take on the terrorist organizations of the world we should be dumping twinkees, ho-hos, and donut holes. We should open up McDonald’s and give the food away. By the time the terrorists realize what happened they will be too fat to move. Well a similar thought that comes to mind when we consider a group of geeks got together to form the Major League Gaming assocation and had the nerve to stylize their logo after the likes of the NBA, MLB,
and even NASCAR. Implying that some level of professionalism and athletic skill comes into play when you sit your fat butt into one of those rocker chairs and play for hours on end. Now maybe the exercise comes from those of you like me that when you play you try and guide the playing by jerking the controller around and continuously moving your body into different positions like you have restless leg syndrome.
In all, it’s just kind of silly, but then again I’ve considered joining an association that supports driving without your shoes on. Oh well.
So, there are a lot of things that need to be pointed out in this world that seem a bit silly and a bit stupid. By no means, do we the authors of this blog purport to be the smartest nor the dumbest of the bunch. What we do hope to do, that as resident of the masses in this United States and this world that we live in, we are as qualified as anyone to point out what might be silly and stupid in the world. We could cover politics, we could cover marketing and business, and we could cover just people in general.
We may quibble and quabble, but in all this is as much for our own enjoyment as it is for yours.
Razor Burn
July 15, 2008 · Leave a Comment
Recently I got a comment on a previous post regarding the Rolling Razor, seems a Mr. Taverna had something to say about my trashing the Rolling Razor. First, let me point out that our friend Mr. Taverna is well, likely an employee of the company associated with the marketing or vending of the Rolling Razor. I do internet marketing for a living and make it my business to study the search habits of the average user. Let’s break it down like a fraction:
Before I further trash on the product, let me congratulate this group. From a marketing perspective they’ve hit it all. Sexy, sleek, crisp marketing. The guys who sold America on the “pet rock” would be proud. Watching the commercials as the one I’ve post here almost sells me. I kind of want to try one. But then again, for a while there I almost purchased the bowflex. I mean the guy on there looks buff.
In all, I still think the Rolling Razor is a piece of crap. I think it’s a waste of the minerals that were refined into the metals that make up the body of the tool. The very synthetics that make up the rubber that make this stubble remover as stable as Chuck Norris in a fist fight, scream to be released from such an inconsequential purpose in this life. So Mr. Taverna, if you do work for the Rolling Razor Rimshods, if you’ll score me a sample I’ll try it for a month. And if it works better than the razor I have now, I’ll post once a week on this blog and at least one other how much I love the Rolling Razor.
For now, I say to properly use this Rolling Razor, you should carefully place your finger through the hole and then proceed to poke yourself in the eye for buying it.
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