Ugg. . Me Man!! I R Smart!!!!

for yeers igo I wuz a hi skool graduwat now i is one

sayings like this have sprung from one source.  A bad case of stupid.  There are many people in this world that are really stricken with a bad case of stupid.  

There is a gland in all of us that secretes a hormone that causes stupid behavior.  We all have it, and there is nothing that one can do about it.  Some of us have a more avtive gland than others and those people I really feel bad for, and sad to say there are stereotypes that go with this.  They are as follows:

1. Men have a more active gland than any other group as a whole

2. Many Blonds

3. City people 

4. Arkansas Squrills 

This is not to be confused with the “ditz” gland as it has a very different set of symptoms.  

Now the following individual in the video displayed has a very hyperactive stupid gland.  he does something that gives men everywhere a bad name, and that is really not fair because he has a hyperactive gland that unfortunately has resulted in brain damage.  

Enjoy! (just a note.  There is a bit of swearing so if you don’t want to hear it leave the volume muted till about 1:20 on the time)

PETA: Only 2% Common Sense, Skim on the Details, and a Whole Latte Nonsense

Just like Mom Used to Make

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, I have news for you.  This is big news.  So before you pour your next bowl of cheerios, before you chug down a nice cold glass of chocolate milk, and before you take one more bite of chubby hubby ice cream from Ben & Jerry’s.  Milking cows is cruel.  I mean its mean guys.  Seriously, farmers are out there everyday making dairy cows live in safety from predators behind a fence.  Seriously, farmers are providing food and shelter in the storms that may come upon their fields.  And do you realize, I mean are you of the understanding that these cows are forced to relieve their stored milk in their udders by machines that purposely cause a minimal amount of pain to the cow.  I mean, seriously, don’t cows have the right to be eaten by wolves, die of starvation, and suffer in the cold like the rest of us to be picked off at random by nature.  PETA doesn’t think so, in fact they have a suggestion.

PETA runs a blog from which they pour out their wisdom for kix onto the poor honey bunches of oats willing to listen.  On this page, they applauded the efforts of one Swisserlander who recently decided that he plans on swapping 75% of his fruit of the bovine juice out for human milk, breast milk that is to say.  Now, frankly I’m a little uncomfortable talking about this subject, but it smacks of stupid.  Anyway, PETA thought this Svisserlahnder had a good idea and turned it into a shock-tactic marketing campaign.  This campaign was kicked off by sending a letter to Ben & Jerry’s admitted business-hippies, requesting that they make Chunky Monkey a little more like mother used to make (I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry).  This letter went out and has yet to garner a response from these Captain Crunches of the Ice Cream industry.

Overall, what’s amusing to me is that if the roles were reversed and the animals were in charge.  And women were forced to be milked, there would be an organization of mammals heading up on organization called METH (Mammals for the Ethical Treatment of Animals).  These mammals on METH, much like the members of PETA would come up with ridiculous suggestions that would advocate the milking of cows so that the poor humans wouldn’t be exploited.  These members of METH, I mean PETA, promote Dr. Spock the author of the famous baby-raising book of the 1950s that had no real knowledge of HIV, AIDS, and all sorts of other diseases as their exemplar of using human milk over dairy milk.   Now if you think about it, he was talking about babies being raised on human milk vs. dairy farm milk.  I think he could have cared less and wouldn’t even suggest moving in this direction.

This PETA campaign has caused a small spark in the blogosphere, but in truth its a non-issue.  By writing about this, I lend PETA a hand in getting their message out.  They want the publicity, and they’re going to milk (I know) it for all its worth.  They know how to spark conversation, but they know nothing about teaching and educating a public about the true plight of animals.  Instead, through their sensationalism, they make the animal cause one to be ridiculed by the right and sidestepped by the left.  It’s made the animal decency battle the curdled milk that no one wants to drink.

In all, I was gonna write about the ridiculousness of PETA’s suggestion.  I was going to explore the world in which women are harvested for their milk and the testing and screening that would taking away any respect, privacy, or decency they may have felt.  PETA just smacks of stupid, and if they were able to mount an honest campaign instead of asking Supermodels to strip naked, push Breast Milk as the new dairy substitute, and make light of our own human condition they actually might get some people to listen to them.  They’re the unsweetened shredded mini-whites that look good on the box, but taste like crap in the bowl.

Uhhh. Dude! It’s a Freakin Tree!

so I came across this video that I am not sure needs much explanation to go with it.  

This is NOT fake, and these are real people.  I would like to add that I was in the back woods of NC a few months ago and there really are the extreme hippy people from the 60’s there.  More that just one or two, they are EVERYWHERE.  

Look i am all for taking good care of the environment, and I don’t quite like the de-forestation of different areas.  However, I don’t ever quite feel the need to cry over a dead tree.  Notice the chick at the end of this video and how she give out a fake wail for the tree.  I wonder if they realize how ridiculous they look.

Covergirl for Pork

Pig Metaphors

The Republican party recently stepped in it with their attempt to make the Democrats look bad over a worn metaphor used on both sides of the aisle.  Metaphors are dangerous, and no more so in the politcial arena where extending-the-metaphor-to-exaggeration and out-of-context quotes are mud-slinging fodder.  The issue: recently Mr. Obama made reference to Republican’s efforts to coverup activities or mistakes with window dressing and saying essentially the Republicans were putting lipstick on pig and trying to call it something else.  The Republicans turned it around and called the press gender police hoping to claim that the Dems were calling Covergirl Palin a pig with lipstick.  The press turned around and made this the story instead of the Dems.

A couple of things smack of stupid here:

First, metaphors are like nitro-glycerin(dynamite sweat)(see I’m using a metaphor to talk about a metaphor, it’s kind of like a cat talking about skinning a cat), when handled right they can deliver the punch you’re looking for and when handled incorrectly they blow up in your face.  Also, when you use a metaphor you have to consider who’s used it in the past and what points these individuals used the metaphor to illustrate.  This metaphorical baggage that they carry may end up making your point moot in the end. 

Second: Remember when you were in second grade and you ran out of mean things to say so you found yourself with two options: tell the teacher or call the other kid a doo-doo face.  Both sides have run out of doo-doo face comebacks so now they’ve resorted to telling the teacher aka the press.  The press, howerver, is very fickle and more than happy to turn anything into a story and have no moral positioning they’re looking to reinforce within this race

In my opinion, the Republicans have the opportunity to do their best to stay on message and try emphasize the massive difference in politics and experience that their ticket has to offer.  However, these kind of activities smack of desperation.  And let’s be honest, you don’t want to smell desperation on the part of your date or your political party.  The Repubs need to step up their game above 7th grade lunchroom debate tactics and take it back to the straight talk about topics that matter that made McCain viable in the beginning.  The more the two candidates act like kids fighting at recess, the less this country and especially the youth will be interested in voting.  Obama and his dems now have the very same opportunity to let the Repub’s grab the “change” message that leaves voters with a very abstract feeling about nothing, and reach out to grass roots voters with a defined message.

If this keeps up, I’m writing in Pam from the Office as my candidatial choice.

Argue on the Internet and Your Still Smacked Stupid

There is this phenomenon that is spreading throughout the world.  It is called the Internet, and on it people have the ability to be who ever they Choose.  You can see this point as illustrated by the comic shown

here.  So as you can see you just never know who you are talking to.  You just might be talking to a dog for all you know.  Yea that Cute girl that you think that you are talking to.  It is a big 38 year old hairy man.  Sorry that truly sucks.

But moving right along now, there is another phenomenon that plagues people all across the Internet.  Something that people just can’t seem let go of.  They can be who ever they want, and live another life on the Internet, and so they tend to engage in this sort of activity.  Or there are other people that just have such a big ego that they think that they need to engage in this activity.  The extremely moronic thing that people do on the Internet is ARGUE.  

Now I know that some of you may have done this from time to time.  If you have done so I am sorry if I should offend you but my opinion of what you did still stands.  It is kinda dumb to argue on the Internet.  I would like show you a couple of pics that illustrate this 

point.  

People just seem to think that they need to correct people because it will make the world a better place they they will help that person.  Well sad to say it just makes both of you look kinda stupid.  It doesn’t even matter who wins.

There is also another reason people argue on the Internet, and it is because they are just a hateful person.  That type of mentality is illustrated in the following comic on the left.

 

 

The other reason people argue on the Internet is portrayed in this last comic, and I think that is illustrates it so well that words are not needed to get the point across.

Ahh that just says so many things that I am going to just let you look at it and take from it what you will.  So Remember.  If you argue on the Internet, your still a moron even if you win.

All I Have to Say Is “WOW!”

My boss did something so dumb today I am making a special trip to the blog to post about it. Now first some background information.

In my industry Floor work takes a lot of time and chemical. It gets very expensive very fast. It is time and labor intensive. So with that said I have to give a couple numbers to put all of this into perspective. A typical School classroom (about 400 sqf) takes about 1.5 hours with 3 people to strip down completely if you are REALLY good at it. That totals to 4.5 hours per room. I know a method that is centered around a particular piece of machinery that can bring this number down to 20 to 40 minutes and no chemical.

The piece of equipment basically is amazing, and the people that sell it don’t know that it can do it. It was made for something else, and I have been taught a method of using this machine to have a 70% plus reduction in labor. I was at a building talking to the supplier about this machine, and my boss pulls up. I had been put in charge of securing one of these machines and had just got all the specs, and I had put it all together to get one of them and not let the supplier know what I was going to use it for. Should the supplier find out about what I was really goign to do with it he would start to sell the heck out of these things to other companies. Thus giving them the knowledge and technology to do the same thing and cause my company to lose its competitive edge on them. So we kinda want to keep the method a big secret.

I told my boss this, and said that we really need to be careful about what we say to him, and that the sales rep does not know what we are going to do with it. he said ok, and then walks over to the rep and says, “We want two of them. We want to strip our floors with them.” He said the very thing we did not want him to know, and not only that he said it in plain English so there would be no confusion! My eyes got big, but I noticed that the sales guy didn’t pick up on it. Ok we are free and clear. I pulled my boss aside again and said the same thing again. “We need to keep this a secret.”

Well two minutes later we are in a classroom, my boss, the sales rep, the supervisor, and myself are in the room and my boss says. “With this new machine we are going to be able to do this classroom in 30 minutes!” He did not get away with it this time. The rep clearly heard it and then walked away to make a phone call. I had at this point already told my boss three times that we need to not say anything to this man, and I pulled him aside again and told him that was the very thing that we did not want him to hear. My boss understood me know as I could see in his face he realized that he made a big mistake.

So I don’t know if this seems as stupid to all of you as it does to me. But I could not help but see it here.

Insert Cricket Sound

I apologize for the absence as I have been traveling across the country, and spending a lot of the time away from internet. However, I have a great moment to relay that completely encompasses the name of this blog. It is a moment were someone was truly “smacked stupid.” It reminded me of a moment when I was driving in the mountains of Colorado last week.

As the car came winding down the mountain in the dark it came around a curve, and HELLOOO there was a large deer just staring at us. Frozen with fear, and unable to move an inch. It just looked at the car forcing me to drive around it. The following video reminded me of that experience.

This is a political video to prepare you, but it is not the political nature of it that makes it stupid, but rather the absolutely classic response that the senator gave in this video. Not one, not two, but THREE TIMES!! It is great. The Senator will be asked a question, and at first he will just try to dodge it but Chris Matthews does not let it go. He asks him again, and again, and every time he just freezes and and says nothing. There needs to be Cricket noises inserted here.

Now tell me if you see a resemblance between the two following pictures.

Now I am sure that it is hard to be on the News and that at time it can be very hard to stay on your game. It is sad that one is required to do so. but this was not a hard question. It was fair, and it is not attacking. You should have had at least ONE answer prepared, something. Don’t just stair at him and then hope that it will just go away. One would think that he would have been racking his brain for some sort of a semi-intelligent answer. Nope, just stair at him. Just like a deer does when a car comes speeding down a road with the brights on.

Now remind me not to ever vote for this man.

Need a Job, take Bob’s

The Rambler

After watching as much of the Opening Ceremonies as I could stand and by that I mean when what little restraint I had left that kept me from throwing the remote at the TV after listening to Bob Costas yap constantly for an hour, I had an epiphany.  Somebody should take Bob Costas’ job because he sucks at it.  No seriously, he’s really, really bad.  His professional title on his resume should not be sports commentator, but something more akin to sports rambler.  Throughtout the olympics thus far, NBC has privledged us with short break away moments to Bob sitting behind some desk somewhere and gives us a run down of what we just watched. 

” Yes, we just saw Phelps break a world record.  It’s amazing, because that was a record that had never been broken.  In fact, ladies and gentlement, he hasn’t broken that record since he set it previously.  I hope we all realize that what we just saw was something record breaking.”

Thanks, Bob.  Never could I have pieced together what just happened as I watched it while Phelps, ears and all, went nuts over his success.  Really couldn’t have figured it out, when the announcers started screaming world record over and over.  The special green line that NBC superimposed over the screen to indicate where Michael Phelps was with relation to his previous world record just didn’t register with me.

Conclusion, Bob’s an idiot designed to fill time as NBC makes the switch from one Olympic Event to another.  Now I’ve got to give him credit, he’s got that announcer look and sound to him, and could probably place in a John Edwards look-a-like contest, but what’s his real value other than just forcing air across vocal cords.  My suggestion: we should get some of the athletes involved in the games to do the broadcasting.  It might be fun, to have some of the women from the women’s swim team announce Phelp’s victory and talk about the kind of dedication it takes to do what he does.  Get Diana Torres up there and let her talk about adversity and pressure in performing.  That would be kind of cool.  When the women’s gymanstics is up, let’s get one of the Hamm brothers in the booth and talk about how hard it is to go through a routine and remember each element while placing your feet on the right side of a white line while gyrating in the air.

America at this time more than other needs intelligent, informative commentary from TV more than ever.  While reality TV shows infect the airwaves and leave many a couch potato watching life instead of living it, we should have people that make us want to jump out of our seats and follow the examples of these athletes coming from around the world to compete.  We need something more than, uh, wow, that was like amazing.

Politics and the Love Connection

Throughout history we have seen political figure after political figure go down aflame like the hindenburg due to illicit affair.  Politicians and Sports stars alike that hold not only our attention, but sometimes our respect have often disappointed their fanbase or constituents through their nocturnal habits.  Honestly, though, I don’t care.  That’s really none of my business.  This most recent revelation concerning John Edwards and his love triangle has little interest for me.  I mean, yes, it’s sad that we all  bought into the sweet story of his support for his wife with cancer and how he stuck by her.  Yes, it’s nice that he seemed to have these boyish good lucks and played the part of the all-american family man, but in the end ended up with a woman that was not only his wife, but also played the role of mistress for one of his campaign aids.   I mean, let’s think about this for a second.

Not many have taken the time to point out that last point, this woman in the short span of a year had an affair with two married men that work very closely together in very small circle of people.  Is this not just an reality tv show waiting to happen.  This whole thing truly smacks of stupid.

What further smacks of stupid, is the fact that any of us care at all.  Has Edwards ever been a serious candidate for the presidency.  Nope.  Have we ever really worried how his soundbytes play.  Nope.  So in truth, we just have another one of those let-downs in too-good-to-be-true relationships the likes of which call to mind Brad and Jennifer breaking up, Ben and Jennifer,  and Bill and Gennifer Flowers (Ok, never really a couple, but it kind of fits with the theme.).  In all, if people refuse to exercise good judgement or taste for that matter, that’s wholly their decision.  Don’t get upset about it, just don’t support them in their stupidity.  Don’t vote for Edwards, don’t buy Brad’s movies, and don’t hold celebritiah to a higher standard that we the general population can’t even adhere to ourselves.  Being stupid is just part of the human experience.

Schwarzenegger’s Scorched Earth Policy

Huh?  Wait, is that really my title for this blog posting, and what does that have to do with the fire in the background.  Well, Arnie recently decided that the girlie men in his state legislature were not cooperative enough on the budget such that he was forced to take action.  Now, the T1-3000 was in the shop and his sawed off shotgun in the NRA’s museum, so the only weapon in his arsenal was minimum wage and a slashing of temporary/seasonal employees.  Now to be fair, the state government seems to be careening towards a cash crisis like a semi out of control trying to kill John Connor.  So, this double barrel shotgun of a solution (I brought the shotgun back, now its my metaphor), Minimum Wage will be the only pay scale for all permanent employees within the California State Government.  The other barrel, is full of buck shot that will be blowing away the jobs of all seasonal/temporary employees.

Wildfires dotting the hillsides of California is not the status quo.  So when things are not quo (thanks Dr. Horrible), you need to call in something other than full time help.  What you might call temporary or seasonal help, the kind of firefighting assistance that would be cut currently under the Governor’s decree.  So, these poor, temporarily-under-the-employ-of-California firemen that have been risking their lives could possibly be asked to toss their fire-retardant jackets over their shoulders and walk off the fiery battlefield.  Meanwhile, their brothers in arms who have the great honor of being full-time employees of the state of California are left to fight these fires for minimum wage.

Be comforted, by that I mean all you State of California employees out there, the promise is that $1 billion dollars in savings a month will be generated by this temporary cut.  The promise is that restitution will be made for lost wages later  from the $1 billion saved.  Now, in all, California won’t be saved anything.  What’s really occurring is a $1 billion dollar loan from the employees of the State of California interest-free.  However, these very same employees can’t hope to get as good a deal when seeking a loan to pay off their smoked damaged homes.  Looks like the California shrubbery isn’t the only one getting burned.